Grief and Comfort
by Aims J
Summary: Chapter 6, Remus has a dream, reflecting his 7th year at Hogwarts. RR.
1. Grief

A/N: I am going to kill my computer! After I write this story that is. I finished this story about five minutes ago and my computer crashed before I could save it so I lost the whole story. So now I have to do it again.   
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot.  
  
Summery: Harry has a chat with Remus about Sirius' death. Remus reflects on his life and friends. Remus also gets comforted by the last person he would have thought. Who is it? I am not telling.  
  
Please read the story and review it. So on with the story!  
  
Grief and Comfort  
  
Harry was back at number twelve Grimmauld Place with Ron and Hermione. The Order was still meeting there even after Sirius' death. Harry was sulking about it too. He didn't want to talk to anyone about it. Ron told him to go talk to Dumbledore, but what would that do? It was Fred and George who came up with the idea.  
  
Harry was sitting alone at the table in the kitchen just staring at the fire. Fred and George walked in wearing their green dragon jackets and sat on either side of Harry. They started talking as if Harry wasn't there.  
  
"You know who I think Harry should talk to Fred?" George asked looking at Fred over Harry. They pretended not to notice him.  
  
"I don't know. Who should Harry talk to George?" Fred asked looking back at him.  
  
"I think Harry should go and talk to Remus," George said.  
  
"You're right. Remus also lost Sirius. And more," Fred said and looked at Harry. He gave no sign of listening so Fred and George shrugged and walked off.  
  
Harry wasn't about to tell them that they were right. He should go and talk to Remus. He was thinking of himself all the time since Sirius died and he didn't even notice that someone else lost him too. Harry got up and walked to find Remus. He just turned the corner into the foyer when he ran into Snape. The last person he wanted to see.  
  
"Watch where you're going, Potter," Snape said in a cold voice.  
  
"Sorry Professor Snape. I was just looking for Lupin," Harry said. Snape looked down at Harry confused. He has never once heard Harry be nice to him.  
  
"He went upstairs. Said something about feeding Buckbeak," Snape said as he watched Harry walk to the stairs.  
  
"Thank you Professor Snape," he said and ran upstairs to Buckbeaks room.  
  
As he ran to the room, his conversation with Snape still ringing in his ears. He couldn't believe he had been nice to Snape. His mind was on the conversation still when the door to the room opened up and an arm shot out and grabbed Harry by his shoulders, stopping him from hitting the door.  
  
"Easy Harry. We don't want to have an accident now do we?" said a voice to Harry's left. Harry turned and saw Remus Lupin holding him by the shoulders. He was wearing a pair of shabby trousers and a jumper under his patched-up cloak, his face was as pale as ever.  
  
"Lupin, I need to talk to you," Harry said taking a deep breath. Lupin sighed and ushered Harry in and shut the door. Buckbeak was laying on a bloodstained bed eating what appeared to be rats.  
  
"I was expecting you to talk to me soon," Remus said sitting on the edge of the bed. Harry remained standing.  
  
"I was just wondering, the way that Sirius died, did he want to have died that way?" Harry asked after a moment.  
  
"You mean fighting?" Remus asked and Harry nodded. "If there was action, Sirius wanted to be in it. I have no doubt that Sirius would have wanted to go anyother way. If he wanted to go at all."  
  
Harry remembered his talk with Hagrid before school let out. It was just what Hagrid had said. That Sirius would have wanted to go fighting. But Harry was the one who said the he wouldn't have wanted to go at all. Maybe it was that Remus was friends with Sirius that Harry knew it was true.  
  
"Thank you Lupin," Harry said and turned around towards the door.  
  
"There is something else, isn't there Harry?" Remus asked and Harry turned around.  
  
"Yes there is," Harry said and he turned around and saw Remus smiling at him. "Now that Sirius is gone, and now that I have no other person to live with am I to live with the Dursley's the rest of my life?"  
  
Harry was suprised to see Remus laugh.   
  
"Harry, you are not condemned to live the rest of the life there," Remus said.  
  
"But now that I do not have a godfather," Harry started but Remus waved his hand signaling Harry to stop.  
  
"You don't think your parents would want you just to have a godfather would you?" Remus said trying not to laugh again and saw Harry's face, "They wanted you to have an uncle too."  
  
"But I do have an uncle. Uncle Vernon," Harry said. This time Remus let out a loud laugh that sounded like a howl.  
  
"Harry, a normal uncle. A wizard uncle. A little flashback might be in order then," Remus said smiling "On the day you were born, Sirius and I were both their with your parents. Lily was holding you when they asked Sirius to be your godfather. His response was not just an answer but he took you out of Lily's arms and said yes, holding you up in the air. Then they turned to me. They asked if I would be your uncle. Not by blood but by family. So you would have an uncle who you can go to. I had to think about it at first but then Sirius put you in my arms and I looked down into your eyes and you smiled. That was all it took."  
  
Harry stood their staring at Remus and smiled. He had a wizard uncle. He had another person who was there for him when he was born and who loved him. But there was something else nagging at the back of Harry's mind.  
  
"Lupin, you keep saying that Sirius is gone. Why do you not say that he is d," Harry started but stopped.  
  
"Harry, Dumbledore has told you about the Phoenix, has he not?" Harry nodded. "I believe the same with humans. They die and they are reborn. I do not believe anyone is dead. They are just gone from the earth."  
  
Harry pondered this for a moment and nodded.  
  
"You have lost all your friends to Voldemort, yet you do not show it," Harry said and regretted it the moment the words left his mouth. He looked up at Remus and saw a shadow pass over his premature face.  
  
"I have not only lost friends, Harry, but people I trusted and loved," Remus said.  
  
"I'm sorry," Harry said quietly but Remus did not seem to hear him.  
  
"James and Lily. Harry you look so much like them. It was hard for me to teach you. To not bring up that I knew them. I knew right away that you could not fill in their spaces in mine and Sirius' hearts. But you made and impact Harry. And I won't let anything hurt you," Remus said staring at Harry with tears in his eyes.  
  
Harry opened his mouth and was about to speak but was cut off by Remus.  
  
"James, Lily and Sirius all had their lives taken. They didn't have a chance," Remus said in a low growl that made both Harry and Buckbeak look at him, "But Peter, I wouldn't call that traitor a friend! He betrayed me!"  
  
Harry looked at Remus and saw tears streaming down his face. Harry turned and walked out the door, leaving Remus there alone. He was sure Remus wouldn't want him watching him cry. Harry walked into his room where Ron and Hermione were talking.  
  
Remus looked up a few minutes later. He didn't see Harry and was glad of that.   
  
'He's just like his father. Not wanting people to have an audience when they are upset," Remus thought to himself.  
  
Remus slowly got up and wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his cloak and opened the door. He looked around and was thankful that no one would see him like this. He was walking down stairs and just stepped into the foyer when he looked up from the ground and was three inches away from the last person he didn't want to see him like this.  
  
A/N: Cliffhanger! So what do you think? Who do you think it is? I have three people in mind. This story is rated PG-13 for me to have space to 'move around' in. :-) It might turn slash. MIGHT if the person is a guy. But it could be a girl. And I am not telling. I do hope you all review it. And if you want I will read some of your stories and if you tell me to email you when the next chapter is up, I will be glad to. Just tell me. Although I will email some people telling them about it. Others I won't bother if I don't have your email address. I do hope you like this and return to it. Just to let everyone know that I did cry when I read the part on how Sirius died, and then when Harry got the mirror, and when he talked to Nick, and when they were on the train. I love Sirius! And Remus! And one other person but I won't tell you about it yet. I think. 


	2. Confrontation

A/N: Sorry haven't written anything in awhile. I have been busy writing my other story (Jean Grey and the Bracelet. X-Men story if any of you are interested). Okay I don't have much to say but I am shocked on how many people said Mad-Eye Moody was the one that Remus ran into. No one said Mad-Eye Moody! I was hoping for one. All of you said Snape. Good little people... I mean nice people. Not little. :-) If you find any mistakes (spelling) a little note...WordPad doesn't have Spell Check! Have to download Word.  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I wish I did. Even a little saying in here with the little 'things' around it is from a song by Scott Emerick and/or Toby Keith. Pick one they both did it. Um... The only thing I do own is the plot. And again I sometimes wonder about that. I think the credit goes to the people that live in my head. If you like it, I did it. If you hate it, the people in my head did it. But onto the story!! Weird....The song just came on. I listen and write story. :-)  
  
Summery: Nothing much. Snape talking to Remus..Remus getting upset. Really upset.  
  
~~~~~*~~~~~  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Confrontation  
  
~~~~~*~~~~~  
  
Remus Lupin was walking down stairs and just stepped into the foyer when he looked up from the ground and three inches away from the last person he didn't want to see him like this. He quickly reached his hand up and with one smooth swipe, wiped the tears from his eyes.  
  
"Hello Severus," Remus said forcing a smile on his tear stained face.  
  
"I see Potter found you," Snape said in a cold voice like it was Harry's fault that Remus was crying.  
  
"Yes. We had quiet a talk," Remus said and looked around the foyer seeing if anyone was around.   
  
Snape saw this act and raised his eyebrows. Deciding not to question it he looked back into Remus' face. He had this weird emotion in the pit of his stomach that he never felt before. It was anger, and sadness. And if he didn't know better he would have thought happiness also.   
  
"There is nothing to be happy about," Snape thought to himself.  
  
Remus looked into Snape's eyes and looked away quickly. He could never stare into those eyes for long. Not like Sirius' eyes. Sirius' eyes were not troubled. There was always something there. A spark, or a sparkle. Once in awhile even a fire. But Severus' eyes never had such a thing. His eyes where always troubled and dark. Not a sparkle in them. Remus turned around and started back up the stairs. He couldn't remember why he even came down the stairs. He was unaware of Severus following him tell he spoke up.  
  
"Are you alright?" Severus asked.  
  
"Fine," Remus said in Severus' usual cold voice. It not only frightened himself but also Severus. Severus was never nice to him, he still didn't know why, but this was beyond weird. Severus was being nice and Remus was giving him the cold shoulder.  
  
"Remus," Severus started then stopped as he watched Remus walk into his room and slam the door. Remus stayed in the master bedroom with Sirius when he was....alive. Now he just stayed in there most of the time, only to come out to eat, feed Buckbeak, and to talk to the Order. Don't forget the full moon time though.  
  
"Remus," Severus said again leaning his forehead against the wooden door. He almost fell forward when Remus threw the door opened and stared into Severus' eyes. This time Remus took a step back. For the eyes that held trouble before, held sadness. Remus was about to cry again but swallowed and stared at him.  
  
"Want to scream. Want to yell. Not want to be me anymore," Remus said with a tone of anger crawling into his voice. His hands started to shake and he shoved them into his pockets.  
  
"Remus," Severus said again reaching to touch Remus' shoulder but instead he pushed open the door and walked in and sat on the bed, "You are living in the past. You have to start living in the future. See what is here for you. See who needs you."   
  
Severus was about to say I need you but stopped before he could. He always liked Remus. Got jealous of Sirius because of it. Sirius and Remus were not only friends but they had more there. Severus always liked looking into Remus' eyes. Waiting to see his green eyes with a sparkle in them.   
  
"I like the past, Severus. I do not get hurt in the past," Remus said bowing his head as he turned to face Severus.  
  
"Remus, listen to me. Sirius will always be with you. As long as he is, nothing can hurt you. As long as I am hear nothing can hurt you," Severus said then stopped and stared at Remus. He didn't mean for that last part to come out as well but it did.  
  
"I know that Severus," Remus said in his usual, soft tone. Severus didn't know which part he ment but it was good either way. Remus sat down on the bed and Severus patted his back. He knew how Remus was feeling. Having lost someone. Yet he didn't know the whole ordeal. He never really did loose someone he never had. But he is trying to gain him back.  
  
Remus sat there on the bed with his head in his hands trying not to cry again. He wouldn't let Severus see him like that. He wouldn't break down again. As he took a breath a saying came into his head. 'And it struck a nerve, and it hit a vein everytime someone brings you up.' Remus wanted to laugh, wanted to cry, wanted to throw something but he did nothing. He just sat their for a while then looked up into Severus' eyes.  
  
END!!!  
  
Okay sorry. Quick and easy. Had to make it fast. Well what is there to say? Okay okay okay, I didn't mean to make it slash but I love reading them. But nothing has happened so far. Except crying. What do you think? Shiver down my spine. Wow. Okay anyways I hope you read and Review it. It is 1:30AM. I always write my stories at night. Habit.   
  
Reveiws:   
  
Chilly: Thank you. I will continue it. As you notice this is chapter 2. And it isn't called Comfort. It is called Confrontation. So until we get to chapter called Comfort then we know that the end is near.  
  
Kandi: I demand that you read the next few chapters. And you can't hurt me. :-P (Old friend everyone. Moved to Virginia a while ago. I'm sad about it.Have to take my anger out of something. Why not in stories? Remus is going through how I feel.)  
  
Kiyoshi: I'm to predictable then. Yes it was Snape. I was thinking either Snape or Mad-Eye Moody. But that would seem weird wouldn't it?  
  
Becki: Sorry it turned out this way but I do hope you read it and enjoy it. It makes me happy to see reviews in my inbox from people who like my stories. 


	3. Snape's Suicide

A/N: Okay. Third chapter. I'm doing this at 10:10 pm on Saturday night. When I usually do my stories but I usually do them much later. But I have time now and it's going to be a long chapter. Well one person said that I need a bit info and I swear you guys can read mines. I've been listening to Les Miserables to much and one song is perfect for Snape!!! I love Javert and he sounds like Snape. If anyone ever heard the songs then do you agree? Well anyways this song is Javert's Suicide. Going to use the whole song and it is going to be in italics...or something like that. Well I wanted to wait a little more for my friend to review but since she didn't (and I gave her a week) I'm not going to have you guys hurt me because of it. So lets get on with this chapter shall we?  
  
Dislcaimer: I own nothing...Wish I did. I LOVE this song!! Can I own that? No I don't own it.  
  
~~~~~*~~~~~  
  
Chapter 3  
  
Snape's Suicide  
  
~~~~~*~~~~~  
  
Remus stared into Severus Snape's eyes and that did it. He broke down inside. How could he see Sirius' eyes in Snape's? That isn't right. He shouldn't! Remus' eyes filled with tears ready to be shed and he put his head in his hands and cried. Snape just sat next to him and let him cry. He needed to. Remus was there for Severus many times. Two times counted the most. And those where the times that Snape realized he liked Remus. More then he knew.   
  
Severus started to think about those times. In their seventh year at Hogwarts. It was the day after the full moon. That little detail was one reason why Severus wasn't dead. And one reason why Severus graduated school also. It also made the rest of the year worth living. It was during Christmas break when this all happened. And Severus will never forget about it either.  
  
~~~~~  
  
"What's the point of living? I have nothing to live for," the seventeen year old Severus Snape said as he looked down into the water where the giant squid was. It was December 22. The water wasn't frozen because of the squid. But if it could be it would. Severus took a deep breath and tried to get ready for the leap before him.   
  
"All I have to do is jump and it's over. Jump and I'll sink to the bottom, never to be seen again," Severus said as he jumped into the water feet first. The shock almost made him take a breath of air, but there was no air around him. He was a fool for wanting to kill himself, and a bigger fool to jump into freezing cold water to do that, but he was not a big enough fool to breath in water.  
  
"This will be over with soon. Soon the pain will go away," he thought to himself. Snape felt himself growing colder and colder.  
  
When he was ready to give up he felt a warm arm grab his wrist and another arm wrap around his waist. He thought it was the squid and welcomed it. He would die faster then he planned. He felt himself moving faster then before and soon he was out of the water, laying on the cold grass on his back.   
  
"This is Hell," he said as he opened his eyes. He gasped at what he saw. There leaning over his shivering body was none other then Remus Lupin. He saved him. Remus looked him in the eyes with sadness and puzzlement.  
  
"Hell? I thought you liked school," Remus said forcing a smile.   
  
Severus saw him shiver and noticed that unlike himself, Remus jumped in with his cloak on. Severus threw his cloak off and he reached over and grabbed it and tossed it to Remus. Remus shook his head and laid it on Severus' body. Before Severus could argue Remus got pulled up to his feet and then Severus got pulled up to his feet. They were facing Professor McGonagall. she didn't look one bit happy.   
  
"You two better come up to the Hospital Wing," she said and pulling on their collars dragged them along with her. As soon as they were in the Hospital Wing they were ushered to two beds and immediately had to drink a cup of warming liquid. They were left alone for a few minutes but they didn't talk. Severus let what happen sink in and didn't look up tell Professor Dumbledore walked in with Professor McGonagall at his heels.  
  
"I told you Albus. Lupin and Snape out in the lake. They could have died," McGonagall said looking at them.  
  
"Well now Minerva. They didn't. And they are fine now I see. So lets see why they were out there in the first place," Dumbledore said.   
  
Severus looked at Remus but he didn't return the glance. Here is was. Severus was going to get kicked out of school. Remus wouldn't because they would believe he saved his life. But why was he outside? Severus didn't even know. He did look up at Dumbledore and opened his mouth.  
  
"My fault Professor. I was outside getting something that I left outside last night," Remus said without batting an eye. Of course! Last night! The full moon. "I went back to get it and by accident I bumped into Snape near the edge of the lake and knocked him in. I jumped in and grabbed him. I didn't want to see him die."  
  
Professor Dumbledore nodded and turned and walked out. McGonagall looked at Remus to see if he was lying but turned and followed.  
  
"Why did you do that?" Severus asked when the door closed. He looked over at Remus.  
  
"I didn't want you to get into trouble okay?" Remus said as he glanced over at him.  
  
"Why were you outside?" Severus asked.  
  
"For your information I did leave something outside," Remus answered but not in a bitter tone. In his usual playful tone.  
  
Just after Remus finished that sentence the Hospital door banged open and in came Sirius. He walked over to Remus' bed and sat down. James and Peter where at home for the holidays so it was just Sirius and Remus. Sirius took Remus' hand and looked him in the eye.  
  
"What happened, Moony?" He asked. Concern was written all over his face.  
  
"I fell into the lake," Remus said. And again he didn't even bat an eye. Severus was wondering why he was lying to Sirius.  
  
"And what did he have to do with it?" Sirius asked nodding towards Snape's bed.  
  
"He pulled me out," Remus answered looking over at Snape's bed. His head was down looking at the sheets.  
  
"Well I am glad you are alright," Sirius said patting Remus' hand and getting up. He walked over to the door and stopped and took a deep breath and turned and faced Snape. "Thanks Snape." Snape looked up at him not believing what he heard. "But your still a slimey git." Sirius turned and walked away.   
  
Snape just sat in his bed and looked over at Remus. He was laying on his bed looking up at the ceiling.   
  
*****  
  
Who is this man?  
  
What sort of devil is he?  
  
To have me caught in a trap  
  
And choose to let me go free?  
  
*****  
  
"Why did you lie to Black?" Severus finally asked. Remus didn't even look over at him but he smiled.  
  
"You wanted me to tell him? Did you want to be haunted the rest of the year knowing that I saved your life?" Remus asked almost laughing.  
  
"Well, thanks," Severus said after a pause. Remus just smiled even wider.  
  
*****  
  
It was his hour at last  
  
To put a seal on my fate  
  
Wipe out the past  
  
And wash me clean off the slate!  
  
*****  
  
'Why did he do that? Stand up for me? He could have made my life a living hell yet he helped me out,' Snape thought to himself as he stared up at the ceiling. He looked over at the sleeping body laying in the bed next to him and he watched him for a few moments trying to figure out how he ticked. He noticed after awhile that he couldn't take his eyes off of the sleeping form.   
  
*****  
  
All it would take  
  
Was a flick of his knife  
  
Vengence was his  
  
And he gave me back my life!  
  
*****  
  
Slowly Severus got up out of bed and walked to the door. It was a few hours after midnight so he wouldn't run into anyone. As he got to the door and opened it he turned back to the sleeping form on the bed. He wanted to tell Remus something, wake him up and tell him, write a note or something, but it did nothing. He wanted to tell him that when Remus saved his life it meant the world to him. But not his life. Severus turned and walked out the door and shut it. He realized to late that it made an echoing sound when it closed. He stood still, holding his breath to hear any possible sound. He heard nothing.  
  
*****  
  
Damned if I'll live in the debt of a theif!  
  
Damned if I'll yield at the end of the chase.  
  
I am the Law and the Law is not mocked  
  
I'll spit his pity right back in his face  
  
*****  
  
If Severus just stood there for a few more moments he would have heard Remus get up and walk over to were he was laying a few minutes earlier. Remus noticed that he wasn't there and near right then and there where he was going. The highest tower in the school.  
  
*****  
  
There is nothing on earth that we share  
  
It is either Remus or Snape! (I took out Valjean and Javert)  
  
*****  
  
Severus walked up the stairs very silently and stopped to look out the window. He looked up at the stars and then down into the lake. The stars showed in the lake and made it look eerie. Severus shook his head and continued up the stairs.  
  
*****  
  
How can I now allow this man  
  
To hold dominion over me?  
  
This desperate man whom I have hunted  
  
He gave me my life, he gave me freedom.  
  
*****  
  
Severus knew what he had to do. He didn't want to live like this. He knew that if he ever set Remus off in anyway he could tell Sirius and the whole school will know that Severus Snape had to be saved from the freezing cold water by the weak Remus Lupin. Although Severus didn't know why people called Remus weak. He was strong in his own way. In some ways he was even stronger then his partner. Sirius Black. Blast him! Sirius had everything Severus wanted. And that made Severus even more afraid. He never thought of Remus in that way tell now. Remus didn't belong to anyone. But then the picture of Sirius holding Remus' hand came back to him. He did not own Remus. No one owned him. That thought scared Severus even worse.  
  
*****  
  
I should have perished by his hand!  
  
It was his right.  
  
It was my right to die as well  
  
Instead I live, but live in hell!  
  
*****  
  
Remus was walking down a corridor leading to the Astronomy Tower hoping he's not to late. He kept wondering why he was doing this. He could easily let Severus kill him, but why did he cover up for him? He knew he wanted to be friends with Severus but did he want to become more? Jumping into freezing water to save him? He has never done that for Sirius. What was going on with him? Falling for Severus now.  
  
*****  
  
And my thoughts fly apart  
  
Can this man be believed?  
  
Shall his sins be forgiven?  
  
Shall his crimes be reprieved?  
  
*****  
  
Severus was taking his time walking up the stairs. He wanted to sort this out before he did himself in. He didn't want to go with confusion but he wanted to know what these feelings meant. How could he like Remus. Love even.  
  
*****  
  
And must I now begin to doubt  
  
Who never doubted all these years?  
  
My heart is stone and still it trembles  
  
The world I have known is lost in shadow.  
  
*****  
  
Remus was running now. He missed a step and tripped and hit his chin. It was going to hurt in the morning but right now it meant nothing. He quickly got to his feet and ran. He was about to run into Mrs. Norris but he jumped over her and left her hissing at his back as he ran as fast as he could. He wanted to save Severus.  
  
*****  
  
Is he from heaven or from hell?  
  
And does he know  
  
That granting me my life today  
  
This man has killed me even so?  
  
*****  
  
'How could someone like Remus be nice to me?' Severus wondered. 'Can he be real?' Severus couldn't get Remus out of his head. He reached the Astronomy Tower and walked over to a window and just stared out. It was high enough for someone to die on impact once they hit the ground. But he didn't make any move to jump yet. He just stood there looking out over the grounds. Only one person on his mind. And he liked it that way.  
  
*****  
  
I am reaching, but I fall  
  
And the stars are black and cold.  
  
As I stare into the void  
  
Of a world that cannot hold  
  
*****  
  
Remus was just a few feet from the Astronomy Tower door and he already felt that he was to late. He can never be to late for Severus. Remus pulled out his wand and ready for whatever he might face. He threw open the door.  
  
*****  
  
I'll escape now from the world  
  
From the world of Jean Valjean  
  
There is nowhere I can turn  
  
There is no way to go on.....  
  
*****  
  
Severus didn't turn when the door opened. He didn't even noticed. His thoughts where still on Remus as he fell ffrom the window. Remus ran into the room and at the window and screamed "Accio Severus Snape!" He wasn't sure if it would work but it was worth a try. He was as much surprised as Severus was when he stopped and started floating back up to the window. He looked into Remus' eyes and didn't even think. Remus was happy that he threw his arms around Severus and hugged him. Severus didn't even back up but wanted to feel this way forever. Severus finally said what he wanted to say since earlier that day.  
  
"Remus, I want to thank you. Saving my life twice. I really like you Remus. I will always be there for you."  
  
Remus backed away from him and looked into his eyes. It brought him back to the real world. Remus was crying on the bed and Severus had his arm around him. He looked at the body in his arms and he sighed. He wanted to hold Remus closer and tell him that he is always there. But once in a live time is enought until Remus says how he feels.  
  
END!!!!  
  
Okay the end. Long.. It is 12:50 AM now...Over 2 hours working on this chapter!! Tell me how you feel about this chapter. This might be my favorite chapter so far. But it doesn't matter what I like. It matters what you like. Lets get some reviews up here.  
  
Lord Angelus: I like Remus/Snape stories. Almost as much as Remus/Sirius. So I hope you like this chapter!  
  
Becki: You liked Chapter 2. So how about Chapter 3? I don't like to rush things. For one thing, I don't really like writing it unless I am in the mood. And who knows when I'll be in the mood. :-)  
  
Kiyoshi3: So you weren't really expecting it but it doesn't gross you out over Remus/Snape. Good. :-) I review anything that the people who review my stories write. Like a little.... What's that word... Eye for an eye kind of thing.   
  
Luinnelle: I love the way I write too. I prolong things. In other words. Well I'm sorry it wasn't a girl. I was thinking of Tonks but it didn't seem to come togeher. And since I knew more about Snape then Tonks that is how I chose. And you are the person this chapter is for! Background information for their feelings! Thanks! 


	4. More then I can stand

A/N: I haven't updated this story in a while! Please don't kill me. I have to get in the mood. And also I had a sale of muses. Took all of them out. I still have Remus, and added Mr. Gray. So I should be writing more stories shortly. Only way I got into the mood of Harry Potter again was because I started reading some slash stories again with Remus and Sirius. I am writing this story while listening to music, and I have no clue what is going to happen. Maybe another song fic? Who knows. I'll tell you if I do.  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.  
  
~~~~~*~~~~~  
  
Chapter 4  
  
More then I Can Stand  
  
~~~~~*~~~~~  
  
"Remus, when are we going to clean your bedroom?" Mrs. Weasley asked as Remus walked out of the kitchen carrying a plate of chicken that just finished cooking.  
  
"We'll help," Fred and George said in unison. Mrs. Weasley gave them disapproving looked while Remus laughed, knowing perfectly well why they want to help. Wanted to see if there was only one bed in the master bedroom.  
  
"I'm sorry, Molly. But I would rather do that by myself," Remus said.  
  
"But Remus, with all the dust in the house you need some help," Mrs. Weasley stated.  
  
"So be it," Remus said as he sat down across from Snape. "I would like to ask for Severus' help to clean the room, if possible."  
  
"If I must," Snape said as he looked over at Remus.  
  
"Wonderful!" Mrs. Weasley said as she clapped her hands.  
  
"Snape, do us a favor will you?" Fred started in a whisper.  
  
"Tell us how many beds there are," George finished.  
  
"Now that's enough about Remus and Sirius' sexuality," Mrs. Weasley said then clapped a hand over her mouth. "Oh, Remus dear, forgive me."  
  
Remus couldn't say anything. Everyone was staring at him. If he was any more red he would be the color of blood. He was so embarrassed at that statement. This is the first time anyone has ever said that, well besides James.  
  
"Mum, guess what Harry, Hermione and I saw outback?" Ron asked. If Remus could he would have hugged Ron right there.  
  
After that little question Remus tuned out of the conversation. His mind was back to what happened the day before. How Severus was there while he cried. After that Remus had a new image for Severus. Severus must have felt uncomfortable watching Remus cry, he left the room shortly afterwards.  
  
After the meal Remus walked upstairs and into his room and looked out of the window. He just stood there wondering where he would be with Sirius alive.  
  
"I wouldn't be falling for Severus," Remus said aloud.  
  
"You wouldn't be falling for whom?" A voice said behind him. Remus turned around so fast he last his balance and fell to the bed.  
  
"No.no one," Remus said.  
  
"Right," Severus said smirking, "So are we going to clean or what?"  
  
"Yeah. Although the paintings have rules that you need to know about," Remus said.  
  
"Let me get this straight, the paintings make up rules? Then how about when you and Sirius slept together?"  
  
"We had to drape fabric over them so they didn't see anything,"  
  
"Oh then that means that something," Severus started.  
  
"I didn't say that," Remus interrupted.  
  
"Yes you did,"  
  
"Well, the rules, they don't like magic being used to clean up," Remus said.  
  
"They don't?"  
  
"No,"  
  
After that they finally got to work cleaning the whole room. They worked well into the night.  
  
"Almost done," Remus said wiping his brow.  
  
"You don't think they would care if I use a bit of magic to clean this one spot? They're sleeping anyways," Severus said as he pulled out his wand.  
  
"I don't think so. And if they do it won't be the first time I have seen them do something worse," Remus said sitting down.  
  
"I don't care," Severus said as he shot out a cleaning spell, "Dustio."  
  
There was a loud bang and the room was filled with a thick layer of purple smoke. As it cleared Remus starred at Severus and started cracking up laughing. Severus was standing in the middle of the room. Just Severus. Nothing else. Severus looked down and jumped.  
  
"What the hell happened?" Severus asked.  
  
"Well that's the first. Last time I tried to use magic to clean they separated the bed," Remus said smiling.  
  
"Then why am I naked?" Severus asked.  
  
"I don't know. Go into the bathroom and grab a robe will you?" Remus said pointing.  
  
Severus walked into the bathroom and Remus kicked something under the bed and bent down to pick it up. It was a potions book from when he was in school. He opened it up and found a note, it wasn't signed but it could have been anyone. Sirius always wrote him notes, so it could have been him. Or, someone else, someone who never let his feelings show.  
  
The note read:  
  
His eyes upon your face,  
  
His hand upon your hand,  
  
His lips caress your skin,  
  
It's more then I can stand.  
  
Why does my heart cry?  
  
Feelings I can't fight!  
  
You're free to leave me but  
  
Just don't deceive me!  
  
And please believe me when I say  
  
I LOVE YOU!  
  
Remus set down the note and just starred at the walling. Trying to piece it together. It was signed to him.  
  
"What's that?" Severus asked as he walked out of the bathroom tying a black satin robe around him.  
  
"Nothing," Remus said and tried to shove it back into the book but Severus took it and read it.  
  
"Where did you get this?" He said shaking.  
  
"In the old potions book," Remus said and Severus stared at him open mouthed.  
  
END!  
  
It's better then nothing, right? Oh well. Oh, the note that was in the potions book, it's part of a song, Moulin Rouge. So cool! I only have three reviews from chapter 3. So sad.  
  
Lord Angelus: I'm not killing Snape. I LOVE Snape.  
  
Becki: My Muse wasn't working. When it does it's hard to stop it. But I love the outcome. I have done some Song Fics with songs through out it (check some of them out) while others I have to redo because they are just what you said. Songs at the beginning of the stories.  
  
Rosaline: I looked up I'll Cover You. I might use it another chapter, or story. 


	5. Longest Time

A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in awhile. I haven't had much time on the main computer, so I uploaded the last chapters of all my stories onto a floppy so now I'm writing them on my computer in my room. No 'net though. And also it's weird, the whole desktop moves, it's an old computer. Okay, So here we go.  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing, just the plot.  
  
~~~~~*~~~~~  
  
Chapter 5  
  
Longest Time  
  
~~~~~*~~~~~  
  
"In the old potions book," Remus said and Severus stared at him open mouthed. "Have.Have you ever seen it before?" Severus asked, stuttering. "No, I just opened it. First time I ever seen it in my life," Remus said looking down at the letter. Of course Remus didn't see it before. Severus put the letter into the book on the last day of classes in their seventh year. They didn't work out of their book that day, which made Severus both upset and happy. Having double feelings about Remus finding the note. He was hoping he wouldn't be there when he did too, but it seemed like the planets were against him. "Do you know who wrote it?" Severus asked rereading the letter and handing it back to Remus. "No, I suppose Sirius but that isn't his hand-writing," Remus said then stopped and looked up at Severus. "Remus, I wrote that. It was just a silly boyhood crush. It meant nothing," Severus said and was surprised to hear his voice rise another octave on the last note. "Just a silly boyhood crush?" Remus asked and his heart started to ache. He couldn't go through this again. "Rem, it meant nothing. But it means something now," Severus said and was shocked that that came out of his mouth. He didn't mean for it to. "What? Severus, you.you," Remus started. "Love you. I said it! Now will you get off of my back about it?" Severus said in his usual tone. Remus smiled and couldn't stop. It felt, right hearing it from Severus. How Remus wanted to run down the hall and scream at the top of his lungs, but he just touched Severus' face. "Why didn't you tell me before?" "Sirius was always around. And I was afraid you wouldn't feel the same." "Sev, look back over the years. Why do you think I saved your life and tell people you saved me? Sirius was around; he was always number one. Severus if you would have told me before, we could have worked something out. You were always number two," Remus said almost crying. "Remus, please don't cry," Severus said and cupped Remus' chin in his hand and raised it so they were face to face.  
  
"Severus," Remus whispered in a seductive tone, he couldn't help it. "Black is your color." Severus grinned and starred into Remus' eyes. Never was there any color in his eyes. But tonight there was color, and a spark. Something new. Remus looked into Severus' eyes and took a step forward and kissed him. Severus almost broke away from the kiss but he always wanted to feel the other boy against his lips. Severus wrapped his arms around Remus and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss, pushing forward. Remus gasped and pushed away. He looked at the other boy, wrapped in a black silk robe, and shook his head. "Sorry," Severus said weakly. "No, it's.it was great. It's just my fault, I need," Remus started then leaned back to kiss Severus. Remus put his arms around Severus neck and ran his fingers through his hair. It wasn't oily in fact it was clean. Severus wrapped his arms back around Remus' waist holding him close. Remus liked feeling Severus against him, and started pulling him closer, wanting to feel the heat and passion he felt with Sirius. This time Severus pulled away. He looked into Remus' eyes that were now full of confusion. "Remus, I know what you're doing. I'm not Sirius," Severus said taking a step backwards, putting space between him and the wolf. "It's not that," Remus said but Severus shook his head and headed out the door, still in the robe and walked out. Remus stood there, and fell on the bed; once again tears fell from his eyes and hit the torn comforter which bared so much hope for his feelings of love and friendship. ~~~~~*~~~~~ Severus quickly walked out of the room and into the closest room that he came to and he locked the door. He wanted to be alone. He conjured up some clothes and changed into them, shoving the robe into the darkest corner of the room but stopped and held it in his hand. He moved it over in his hand and noticed the initials on the left lapel. RL, Remus Lupin. Severus stood there in the closet for a moment, fingering the initials. He remembered the room he was in earlier. No where in there did he see anything to do with Sirius. Everything in that room was Remus. Was Remus really over Sirius? Was it a play that he was putting on? Or were there no things belonging to Sirius in the first place? Severus knew Remus, and thought the first one was more accurate. Severus walked out of the closet and down the halls, before he reached the foyer, he shoved the robe into his cloak pocket so no one could see it. He walked into the first room and saw Molly, Mrs. Weasley. "Molly? Can I ask you something?" He asked as he sat down in the chair adjacent to the couch, which was occupied by Molly. "You can ask me anything," Molly said putting down the knitting she was doing. Well her magic was anyway. "Why isn't there anything in this house that belonged to Sirius?" Severus asked and Molly laughed.  
  
"Severus, everything belongs to Sirius. Don't you mean why isn't there anything that personally belonged to Sirius? Like robes, clothes, pictures?" Molly asked. "Yes. I've been into all the rooms and I have yet to see any pictures of him here," Severus said. "Well, after the tragic incident at the Ministry, Remus went through the whole house throwing everything of that sort into a bag and did away with it. Poor dear, he misses Sirius so much," Molly said. "Now if you will excuse me I have to go find Fred and George before they blow up something again." "Thank you Molly," Severus said as she walked out of the room. Why would Remus throw everything that belonged to Sirius if he misses him? Severus wondered and jumped when a voice answered his question behind him. "I didn't throw everything away, just some of the stuff. The other stuff is in the attic, besides one book he left for me. Why did I throw them away? Because it would be what Sirius wanted. He wouldn't want me to hang my life up just because he's gone," Remus said and Severus turned around to stare at him. "And I wouldn't want to either." "Remus, I'm sorry," Severus said but Remus shook his head. "It's fine Severus. I understand, although that did hurt. You know nothing of my life, never did and never will," Remus said and walked out of the room. It took two seconds before Severus was on his feet and running after him. By the time he caught up to Remus they were up on the second floor. "I want to know about your life, Remus. Let me learn about your life," Severus said looking at Remus. "To late Severus. It doesn't take a genius to know that once one person breaks your heart, that's what they will keep doing." "Remus! Do it for Sirius," Severus sneered. Remus stopped and looked at him. "Sirius wouldn't want you to live your life by yourself, now would he?" "You don't know what Sirius would want," Remus said glaring at him. "He would, and you know he would want you to get on with your life. What more do you need? A sign on me saying "Remus J. Lupin, I'm sorry, I love you, Forgive me?" Severus said looking at Remus, daring him to say something. Remus took a step backwards and looked at Severus, "You.you." "Me what? Git? Bastard? What?" "You said 'I love you'. Do you mean it?" Remus asked. "Yes, and I do mean it Remus, would I do this if I didn't?" Severus asked grabbing a rough hold of Remus' arms and bringing him into a deep hard kiss. Severus let go of Remus and stared at him. "Severus, I, I lo.." Remus started but turned around and ran into his room.  
  
Severus wasn't about to go after him. He turned around and walked down the stairs. As he reached the foyer he turned back and looked up at Remus' door. He wiped a tear from his eye and whispered "I haven't been in love. That hasn't happened to me, for the longest time. When you put your arms around me, I haven't been there for the longest time." With that Severus turned and walked out of the house.  
  
END! A/N: Angst, I know. I always right that. The last part is a song, For the Longest Time I believe. I don't know. This is where the PG-13 rating comes in. I might have to change it if I write what I'm thinking of writing. Nothing too soon, I hope. So what do you think? Review please! And to answer some of your questions, it will keep going. Is Remus comforted yet? Don't think so. Or I can change my mind and have him do suicide and kill himself to be with Sirius. But nah.  
  
REVIEWS: Maya Sorry it took me so long to update. I will be updating as soon as possible. Tail Oaks Thank you. I love writing stories for people, see what they say about it, if they like it and what not. Jessi Marie I'll read your story. ( Don't worry, I will, it won't be that bad. Lord Angelus More truth in this chapter. Hope you like it. Becki Muse says thank you. ( 


	6. Dream

A/N: Been awhile since I updated, but I have seen to come across some free time on my hands. *Grins* I wonder how that happened. Okay, for all those who know me, I usually write at night, late at night; but for some odd reason it is only 8:40 PM. Wait, my desk clock is fast, my computer clock says it's 8:36. Go figure. Okay, You might be seeing a few of these lines in a different story I'm writing for computers. We are supposed to make a story and make a presentation out of it. A movie in other words, has to have humor in it. I don't really do humor in stories. If all else fails I'll just use my Beatles story, but put in the Marauders. It's in a haunted house won't that be fun?  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot, which I'm making up as I go along. The first part I have written down, and if it keeps going like this, it's going to be a chapter story. Not another one. Okay, I own nothing, if I did Sirius would be alive, Peter would be dead and Remus and Severus would be together. No I am not cruel I just like them together. They fit together. I'll explain later. Oh yes, listening to music, I might add a few lines throughout the story, as usual.  
  
~~~~~*~~~~~ Chapter 6  
  
Dream ~~~~~*~~~~~  
  
"Remus!" Sirius yelled coming down from the boys' dormitory.  
"What?!" Remus growled from over in the corner. "Can't you see I'm doing a paper?"  
"No, I have potions in my eyes," Sirius said. Remus turned around and jumped to his feet and ran over to his friend.  
"Sirius, what did you do?" Remus asked wiping Sirius' eyes with his robe.  
"The vials blew up," Sirius said.  
"I told you making a love potion in your chest wasn't a good idea," Remus said.  
"It's the only place it could stay in perfect darkness. And besides, I think it would have been worth it to see Snape in love," Sirius said blinking at Remus. "Wow, Remmy, your hair is purple."  
Remus groaned, "You nit, we have to get you to the Hospital Wing before your eyes bug out."  
Sirius cocked his head and grinned, "Really? Cool."  
Remus sighed and walked Sirius out of the Gryffindor Common Room and down to the Hospital Wing where Sirius was rushed off to the back and washed off. Remus turned around and left the room and headed back to the common room but ran into an unexpected Slytherin. Lucius Malfoy.  
"Watch where you're going, Lupin," Lucius sneered. If Remus ever killed someone when he was a werewolf, he hoped it would be Lucius.  
"Forgive me Lucius. I was just..." Remus started but was interrupted my Lucius.  
"You got slime all over me you git. Next time when you get out of the sewer, do us all a favor and take a bath." Lucius laughed.  
"Malfoy, Narsissa is looking for you," came a grim voice from behind Remus.  
"Thank you Snape," Lucius said giving one last look at Remus and ran off to find Narsissa.  
"Lupin, you think in your seventh year, you would stick up for yourself," Severus Snape said as he descended the stairs to stand next to Remus. "What is on your robes anyway?"  
Remus looked down and quickly took off his robes, showing off a black poets shirt, loosely tied up and a pair of jeans.  
"A potion," Remus said rolling up his soiled robes.  
"Hm," Severs said looking at Remus, "I thought I was the only one who looked good in black. Nice shirt."  
"Thanks, and thanks for getting rid of Lucius for me Severus."  
"I know how it is to be downgraded, it's not fun." Severus said.  
Remus looked up at Severus and swallowed. It was always his friends that poked fun at Severus, and yet he has never done a thing to stop it; but then Lucius starts at Remus and Severus stops it. Remus made a mental note to make Sirius and James stop torturing Severus.  
"Severus," Remus started then stopped and remembered what Severus did for him, "Why are you being nice to me? I thought you hated my guts?"  
Severus took a step backwards, as if being caught off guard and started to explain "I don't hate you. I just," he stopped and stiffened and ran off towards the dungeons.  
Remus turned around shocked and started walking up towards the common room. Severus was right. Here he was in his seventh year, and he still can't stand up for himself. He has never liked confrontations with his enemies. Yet he was talking to Severus. Remus turned a corner and stopped dead in his tracks, his hands were sweaty, and his breath was caught in his throat and his heart skipped a beat. Severus said he didn't hate him. Remus quickly ran towards the common room and sat down next to James and Peter.  
"Hey Moony. We heard Sirius got the potion in his eyes. What is the matter with you?" James stated.  
"I just ran into Snape," Remus said slowly.  
"Ah yes, Snivellus. How convenient. Was he with his boyfriend? We have yet to know who is the unlucky fellow who Snivellus fancies," James said.  
In their fifth year there was a rumor flying around school talking of Severus' sexual orientation, when cornered about it, everyone found out it was true. Severus was a man's man. Just recently they found out that Severus liked someone, no one knew the house or what year the guy was in. And Severus wasn't about to tell anyone until the time came.  
"I think," Remus started but stopped. He promised himself he wouldn't let James have any more reason to torture Snape.  
"What Remus?" Peter said taking his eyes off the fire and looking over at Remus.  
"I think we should go check up on Sirius," Remus said and they all turned to leave the room. ~~~~~*~~~~~  
  
Remus sat up in his bed. He was back in his own room. That is how that dreamed always ended. Many times Remus tried to go back to sleep to see what would happen. But he knows what will happen. Remus will start dating Sirius, and Severus would be alone. They would both teach at Hogwarts together for one year, and then Sirius would die. Then, and only then, would Severus get what he really wanted. Was it what Remus wanted to? To be together with Severus? He wished he knew, that dream has been haunting him for quite a while now.  
Remus got up out of bed and went downstairs to start breakfast when reality hit him. If he wanted to be together with Severus, he lost his chance last night. He ran away from Severus, after they kissed. How many times? At least twice. It was all a blur to Remus.  
He started making breakfast and the dream and the night before vanished from his head. For now at least, until he saw Severus again.  
  
END! A/N: Okay, I just wanted it to be them in their seventh year, but since it went this way, I changed it to be chapter 7 and put it with Grief and Comfort. Hey, I owe that story another chapter, here it is. Okay, I owe you guys reasons why Remus and Severus would make a cute couple. Here we go. They both know how it feels to be abandoned. They have difficulty-trusting people. They both have a deep secret that could change the way people look at them. Okay, why would Remus and Sirius make a cute couple: They are best friends. When they both transform they are the same family of animal. They trust each other. Now, which one do you think would work? If Remus and Severus gained trust, then yeah...I realized something. Remus and Dumbledore are the only ones that call Severus by his first name. Odd, isn't it? Makes you wonder if there isn't something between Severus and Remus. I'm done. 


End file.
